I am sick to my tummy again. I haven't actually gotten sick, but I feel icky. I feel very icky. My stomach has been so crazy lately. I don't know what to think now. I mean, obviously, I know I am not pregnant, but sheeesh! This is getting annoying! If it is stress causing all these crazy symptoms, then I need them to go away so I can get a bit less stressed.
I am trying to trust God with all this, but it is just so hard. I feel like I am done talking. I don't know what else there is to say. I guess there really isn't. Why didn't anyone want to talk when the things happened so I would have them then? They all want to "be there" for me now, and want to talk to me, but I am just done talking. Nothing else I say can do anything anymore. I am just so done with being unhappy and sick or hurting all the time.
I also feel grief for the loss of a family friend's baby. She was expecting again, after loosing twins at less than four months, and she was so excited. Just as I get to the point where I feel I am trusting in the Lord, something else baffling happens. I JUST DONT GET IT!! These are loving people who care for their children and love the Lord. How can He do this to them?? I mean, honestly, if more children just aren't in God's will, then why allow to get pregnant TWICE so quickly?? She was just recovering emotionally and physically from the loss of the twins, and now this. Like seriously, I dont' get why they must suffer more like this!!
Needless to say, besides my stomach being all weird, everything with my own life, that of my dad's health, and the situation with the army boy, I am irritated with God. I love God and believe in Him, but I am just flat out frustrated and just need some answers!
I can no longer think to write tonight....bed time here I come!
I am trying to trust God with all this, but it is just so hard. I feel like I am done talking. I don't know what else there is to say. I guess there really isn't. Why didn't anyone want to talk when the things happened so I would have them then? They all want to "be there" for me now, and want to talk to me, but I am just done talking. Nothing else I say can do anything anymore. I am just so done with being unhappy and sick or hurting all the time.
I also feel grief for the loss of a family friend's baby. She was expecting again, after loosing twins at less than four months, and she was so excited. Just as I get to the point where I feel I am trusting in the Lord, something else baffling happens. I JUST DONT GET IT!! These are loving people who care for their children and love the Lord. How can He do this to them?? I mean, honestly, if more children just aren't in God's will, then why allow to get pregnant TWICE so quickly?? She was just recovering emotionally and physically from the loss of the twins, and now this. Like seriously, I dont' get why they must suffer more like this!!
Needless to say, besides my stomach being all weird, everything with my own life, that of my dad's health, and the situation with the army boy, I am irritated with God. I love God and believe in Him, but I am just flat out frustrated and just need some answers!
I can no longer think to write tonight....bed time here I come!
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