Late Update

So it has been way too long since I have updated. I guess I will catch ya up today.

I have celebrated my bday, I got my tattoo, I moved into the apartment, and I got a second job. Life seems more complicated than ever, yet peaceful at the same time. The apartment is coming along very nicely. I love my roommates and it seems to be going very well with them too! :)

Tonight will be the first night at my new job. I am very very hesitant of this. I am taking another babysitting job, but it will be every Monday night, and I am still nannying Mon-Fri during the day and also babysitting on the weekends. I need to find something else to do! LOL But it is pretty easy money and something I do well. Mondays will be crazy for a while though. Heck, my life is gona be crazy. Monday I work 730-330, then 5-11. Tuesdays I work 730-330, hit the gym for a bit, then choir practice 630-8. Wednesdays I work 730-330, then go to Zumba and Yoga at the gym from 530-815. Thursdays I work 730-330, then hit the gym and run errands. Fridays I work 730-330 and have Zumba at 530-630. Saturdays I have Zumba class too, but I probably won't always go. Sundays I have choir at 8am then church and such and then to bed to rest to do it all over again. HAHA This should definately prove interesting. I am excited about it though.

We made my headboard for my bed and put that up. It looks super cute!! :) I got to go to Outback with my parents and friends for my birthday and that was awesome!! I had a great time!! :) I loved getting to see all my close friends. I also had a great cake!! It was made to look like a Tiffany box! :) It was adorable!! It also tasted yummy haha.


So this is a long post to update, but I also wanted to share some quotes and lyrics today.

How did it get so late so soon?
It's night before it's afternoon.
December is here before it's June.
My goodness how the time has flewn.
How did it get so late so soon?
~Dr. Seuss

There are those, I know, who will say that the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind, is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is the American dream. ~Archibald MacLeish

Ours is the only country deliberately founded on a good idea. ~John Gunther

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. ~Milton Berle

Success: To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded! ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown

It is foolish to tear one's hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness. ~Cicero



and here is a song that I also like today....

Avenged Sevenfold- Crossroads


I've been traveling for so long
So lost till I stumbled upon
Two roads in front of me
I had to take my time

To the right I could see a church
I took a step in that direction first
But to the left there was a watering hole
Where they were whiskey drunk
And now that's where I wanna pray

So far down here just holding on

[Chorus:]
If I was perfect
Than this would be easy
Either road is plausible on both I could drown
I walk through the center
With no rules to guide me
I realize it's difficult
But now I can see

There's gotta be another way to go
a way that's much more feasible
A combination of all these lies
to set your path without choosing a side

I make decisions one at a time
And no, I never say I'm always right
I'm confident that when I stand on my own
You'll see the truest form of a man
when I'm shining through

So far down here just holding on

[Chorus]

Oh, I hear them now
All the religious rage

(Anger I see)
(Anger I see)
(Anger I see now)

The left isn't better
It's just more of the same.
Condemning all these people
For what they believe
I'll climb to the top of their mountain again
No one is going to save me this way
And the closer to the top I get the more they can aim
But I'm not you

I may not be perfect
But I've always been true
I may not be worthy in your eyes
Climb up from the bottom
For the last time
The last one, the last one,
The last time

[Chorus]

Sleepy Baby

Today is going to be a long day. I have a sleepy, kinda icky feeling baby boy today and then lots to do after work. I have to make my headboard for the new place and also pack for the trip for Bama. We leave tomorrow. So tomorrow, after work I have to run straight across town to the bank, then pick up Danielle so we can leave by 445. I hope to have us in Bama by 730 for dinner and a movie. We are going to see the Ugly Truth. I am sure I will blog a movie review after the weekend.

I am excited about making this new headboard. It is a project that I desperately needed to get finished. I think I will bring the picture frames with me tomorrow so that I can paint them while baby boy is sleeping at naptime. I need to get them all painted and ready for the new place. I need to make a total to do list for the next week so I make sure and get everything done in time to move.

I am sooo ready for some best friend time in Bama!! :)

Lots to do in the coming week, but oh so worth it!!

Where does one go from here?
How do you pick up and change everything you once knew? I was so sure of everything, but now I have my doubts. I still trust God is in control, but its less about if it will go as He plans, but how it will happen. I want to know how things are going to happen. I want to know if I am wasting my time and should be doing something else.

Well, I leave for Bama on Friday with the best friend :) I am sooo ready for this break. I don't want to be bothered by anything else either. I just want time with my friends and family. I am ready for my tattoo and to dye my hair. Its gonna be a good change. I think I will go get a second hole in my ear too. Lots of changes coming my way :) He can choose to be a part of it or not. Not much else I can do.

I love my job! This is truly a blessing :) I love it. I love having time for me while he sleeps, but getting to play mommy all day. Things will get a bit hectic whenever the other three boys are home all day on breaks from school, but I really don't think they will be that bad. They really are well behaved kids, just sometimes need some help focusing. I have also found another prospective job that one be one to two nights a week. It wouldnt be tons of money, but certainly would help with some extra money to spend each week for eating out and such. This income I have now will pay the bills, gas, and groceries, but doesn't leave much room for much else. I just want to be able to save and have money to spend on things I want and need. Things are going well financially and I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I just simply wish that things would go a bit better in the relationship department. Eventually all will be ok.

Have a blessed day ya'll!!

So I have apparently fallen off this whole blogging bandwagon lately lol But I am back!! :)

Met my new roommate today and she seems really cool. Getting my first tattoo in exactly a week from today. I am soooo ready and soooo excited. We have a bunch of plans for my 18th bday and I am very very happy!!

Things seem to be going well at the new job. It is really an easy job. I feed him breakfast, we watch clifford then run around and play. Then its snack time and then down for a nap by 10am. He sleeps till one or later then we do lunch and play till I leave at 330. I love watching him and playing with him. He is going to be really fun to teach and watch grow up. I can tell the other three boys will be a handful when summer and other breaks are here, but what can ya do? They seem respectful, just happy little boys that need to be kept under control. Its gonna go fine. I just know it will.

I move in just under two weeks. :) Things are moving so fast. I never thought it would get here,it always seemed to drone on and on. Now, I will have a tattoo and darker hair in a week, my own apartment with two cool friends in less than 2 weeks, and I have a really fun and reliable job. I am also looking into some other extra jobs too, just for financial security. School seems to be put on hold, because it is taking a while to get my transcripts and SAT scores sent, so I am not sure that I will get to start in the fall. I hope to take some online classes, but I guess we will see if that will happen. I need it to happen.

The faster things move, the crazier they get, but I am learning to embrace all the changes and go along for the ride. I still have my moments where things are really hard to deal with, but I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I have wonderful friends, a great job, a nice car, a good, albeit crazy, family, and now my own apartment. I need my ArmyBoy too though :(

I still really feel like this is the real deal with him, but I am also so scared. I get hurt everytime, and I have gotten hurt by him before. So, my decision isn't clear yet. I don't know what I am going to do. I do have some sort of interest in someone else, so I plan to hang out with them, and see where it leads. I truly feel like maybe Army Boy needs to make these decisions without me around and I need to see other people. I think we will both find in a few months that we need to be with each other. I know it is real, and I know he feels it too, but I know this will take time. Not sure where to go from here. I have to trust that God will take care of it all. He has proven that He is watching over me in all other areas, so why wouldn't He take care of me in this area of life?

Well, I need to get off for tonight. I will try to get back to a regular schedule of blogging again.

Goodnight

Fine Arts, Disney World and Daytona Beach

So here is my excuse for not posting. I was on my much needed trip to Orlando for Fine Arts, and though we were in the hotel at night and in the mornings, we were all so drained or rushing around to leave again, that I had no time to do much more than a FB update. So here I am again. Returned home, sun burnt and exhausted, from my trip yesterday evening. I did some tax free shopping with my cousin and had some yummy dinner.

The trip was awesome. I wasn't sure how it would go, considering I am not close to the people I went with and considering I was sick, and turns out got sicker lol

Here's the run down of the week. We drove to Macon, GA Sunday and spent the night there. Then we left bright and early Monday morning to arrive in Orlando at approximately 1pm (EST) for lunch, checkin at the hotel, walmart run, and then we had some time to get ready to go to the Opening Service and then ate a very very late (1030pm late) dinner at IHOP after service was over. We got up early Tuesday and went to compete, we had a quick lunch in the convention center, competed some more, ran all over the place to make it on time for everyone's competitions, and then went to the hotel to relax a but before having a yummy dinner at Olive Garden . We relaxed and swam at the pool and just had some fun. Wednesday, we had competitions, a nice lunch at Golden Corral and then went to compete some more, went to the hotel to ready for the service and then they went to service. I ended up staying at the hotel for Wed night service and late night dinner, cause I had some stomach bug and was pretty miserable. Thursday we got up and went to Disney World. We were there for 12 hours!! It was a great day, albeit hot and I was still a bit sick from various issues. I still smiled and had a good time though!! :) We all crashed as soon as we got back late Thursday night. Friday we were able to sleep in a bit, then we went to Daytona Beach. That was all fun till some of us, especially myself, realized how burnt we were, and then 30 mins before we were scheduled to leave, one of our guys broke his leg on his sand board. They took him to the hospital, got a cast and all that, then we headed back to Orlando. Poor guy was miserable. :( I was so burnt that night that I didn't go to service, and many others didn't go either. It was a good lazy night, but I did have a fever and the shakes from the sun burn. I managed though. We all got up at like 430 am and packed up and we left the Sunshine State about 6am (EST) and headed home. We stopped about every two hours, including breakfast and a yummy Mexican lunch in Macon, GA. Those of us in my van slept 80% of the way coming back home, so overall it went pretty fast for us. I think total driving time when you cut out time for lunch, breakfast, gas, and potty breaks, was only 9/9.5 hours or so. It wasn't a bad trip at all.

So there is my week people. I finish my last two days at my current nanny job tomorrow and tuesday, then Wednesday, I go to work for my new family as their nanny. It will be a sad, joyous, busy, and exciting week. I am making lots of new changes these next few weeks and months, but I am making them for me and noone else.

I am not sure where things stand with Army Boy or what will be, but I know what I can do to better myself.

Where do I begin tonight? Tonight is another really crappy night. I feel really icky, I haven't talked to him at all today and only briefly yesterday and I am not holding up too well. I also leave for Orlando in 13 hours and I have not started packing.ah!! I think I am going to sleep in, skip church, and pack for Orlando in the morning. I am just hurting so bad. I think I will make my packing list and sleep. I need sleep. The plan was to stay awake so I will sleep the whole way to Macon tomorrow, since I hate driving long distances, but that simply isn't going to happen. I think I will sleep until seven and then get up, pack, shower, clean, find my meds and such, and then meet them at the church at 130 to leave. I will take meds to knock me out and sleep that way. I just can't stay up any longer. It's killing me. So much for my new normal sleeping schedule.

My side is killing me thanks to this dang cyst...ugh....

I need to sleep now. I pray that I do and that I get everything done tomorrow. I am very excited for this trip, albeit a bit nervous,but oh well. I hope I am able to talk to him some while I am there. I don't know how much I will be online when he is, considering the odd times we are at the hotel, and when we are there, I usually head to bed.

Gah, I miss him so bad and I wanna know why he hasn't been on today. Please God let him be online tomorrow and email me. I need to talk to him.

goodnight

Meaningful Quotes

Today was a good day. Tomorrow I have to pay rent, cause I didn't have a chance to go today and its technically due tomorrow anyways. After I pay rent, I am going to Zumba with Katie! :) Sooooo happy to be working out again!! :) Gonna kick this cyst's butt and get healthy on my own!

I don't have much to say tonight. So, here are some meaningful quotes I thought ya'll might enjoy.

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.
-- Helen Keller

Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.
-- Grace Hansen

Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
-- Groucho Marx

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive.
-- Orlando A. Battista

You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you.
-- Mary Tyler Moore

"Only those who dare to fail greatly, can ever achieve greatly."
- Robert F. Kennedy

"If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right.”
- Henry Ford

"Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing."
- Redd Foxx

The inability to open up to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.
- Elizabeth Gilbert

We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy
- Walter Anderson

((these last few about trust hit home for me in particular. I know from experience how difficult it is))

BUT this one I wish for all to read in depth, it is one I read and pondered on alongside my Senior English class. I encourage you to read more into the text this came from as well. There were many things I didn't enjoy that we read in that English class, but I learned so much from all the things I let in and was open to. Everything we read got a chance in my mind, even if it was only one chance and then was pushed aside. I ask, challenge, and encourage everyone to find new texts to read that are, in reality, old. I learned more about humanity from the old texts and quotes then I have from the new, because the old showed that, in their heart and souls, humans have been the same in every society all through the centuries. Read. Ponder. Experience. Challenge. THINK

''Beauty is truth, truth beauty,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.''-Keats

Goodnight all.