Exhausted Beyond Belief

I have had such an erratic sleep schedule the past week or so and it is finally creeping up on me and dragging me down. It is now close to midnight and I am babysitting and have been here since 5pm. I should get to leave in about a half hour. Thank goodness!! I really really do love babysitting and wish it was consistent enough to live off of, so I could just do this, nanny, and go to school in the fall and be able to support myself. Everything is looming over me these days and I just don't know what to do. I want to go to the Art Institute, but I am scared about the job prospects following my graduation. I am also about to be in a lot of debt. I wonder if I should just go to Motlow for free instead and maybe change my mind late? I really don't know. I need to get a response from God on this. I feel so conflicted.

And on top of feeling conflicted, I constantly feel gloomy and mad lately, and that is quite frankly pissing me off! I need to get happy again and be as normal as possible! I am sick and tired of being so sick and tired and pissed off all the time. I am sick of being so moody and crazy! I am now making yet another goal for the summer, and that is to make a conscious effort to be positive each day. Maybe I need to fake it till I make it. "Faking it, till I'm pseudo-making it." as the song says.

I am very impatient and skeptical, but I am trying to trust God for my answers.
Goodnight.