Dr and My Job

So the doctor called yesterday. The news is not good, but I am not dying either. I will be fine, but knowing what it is isn't helping with the pain. It turns out that my thyroid is fine, but my vitamin D and B levels are really low and I have also developed an ovarian cyst on my right side. THAT was NOT the way I wanted my day to begin, but what can ya do? *Shrugs shoulders**

After I recieved that news, I went with my stepdad to get the materials to make my new headboard. Today, I need to get the batting and fabric and beads for it, but other than that, we got all the materials. I am soo excited to see how its going to turn out!! :)

I also got a chance to go eat a yummy dinner with my one of my best friends before my interview. We ate and went shopping, and it was wonderful! I love her to death and its been wayy too long since we had a Camino's night! :) Good times!!

Once I finished hanging out with her, I went to my final interview for the new nanny job, and guess what?!?!?!?! I GOT THE JOB!! :) I will finish nannying for the two kids I currently keep on the 11th and then I will begin the new job on the 17th!! I am going to be very sad to not be seeing my current kiddos so often, but I will still see them I have been assured. It worked out perfectly, because their mom recieved a new position as a Breast Cancer Specialist at the hospital, allowing her to help sooo many people and to be home more with her kids. I don't feel so bad for changing jobs now that I know they will be with their mom and not some stranger!! :)

God is really working some great things in my life!! I can't possibly thank Him enough! Even when I am in pain and sick, God is working on other things. He knew just how to take my mind off of the pain yesterday.

Today I go to make my first rent payment!! Go me!! LOL I feel like a big girl!!

My birthday weekend is all set, and so is my health regime that is coming up. I have a whole new "Healthy Me" plan to start and I am actually excited about it. I look forward to my classes at the gym and my yoga time here at the house. I look forward to eating better and feeling better!

I plan to gradually cut things out this weekend and next week on my trip, then completely restrict everything for the week following my trip. After that week, I will slowly add more complex foods back into my diet. While watching my calorie and fat intake, I will be focusing mainly on my vitamins, yoga, and working out. My "reward" will be my birthday weekend.

My birthday weekend is going to be amazing!! :) Thursday I move into the apartment then out to dinner at Outback with some amazing friends and family. Then, Friday, after Danielle and I get off work at three, we are heading to Bama to have some girl time!! :) Friday night were eating dinner and going out to the Sundance Saloon to ride the bull and have some fun with Katie, Dayle, Mary Ann, and hopefully, Rebecca. Gonna be a great night, complete with riding the bull in cowboy boots!! Woohoo!! Lots of pics will be taken of that for sure! LOL Saturday morning we're going to get mine and Katie's tattoos and then Danielle and I are getting our hair done after that. We plan to go out to eat at Ricatoni's-my favorite place to eat down there, and just have some silly fun. Sunday I want to go see my Grandpa and spend some time out in nature. I want to take lots of pictures. I will be taking LOTS of pictures the whole weekend. We're coming home Sunday in time to get some rest before we both head back to work on Monday morning. I am soooo excited. It's been a while since Danielle and I have been to Bama, and its a much needed trip. We both need a break. I was a bit worried how my 18th birthday would work out, but it seems it will be quite the birthday! :)

When I come home from that weekend, Nikki and I are going to the horse show in Shelbyville as we have for the last few years lol Gonna be a fun time!! :)

I better get off of here and get some lunch and start getting ready. I have a lot to do today!

Live Daily

Why do we all settle for mediocre?? Why do we allow things to be set in stone and unchanging??
Why do many of us never strive for something because someone tells us we can't possible reach our goals?? It seems I am thinking about this a lot lately. I know I am at a point in life where I am considered to be too dreamy and impractical; where it seems we think we can do anything. However, I must ask, why do we let life's obstacles interfere with our belief that we can do anything, and for those of us smart enough to realize, that we can do anything with God on our side? Why do we allow ourselves to be pushed down, stomped on, and forget all we know in Him?

I am finding myself in a constant state of feeling like all I do is dream. I am sick of dreaming and I am ready for things to happen. However, I must take my dreaming and planning and throw them out the window. I need to let God take control, which I admit, for someone as OCD and controlling as I am, is very very difficult.

Today is going to be a very busy day, but first I will say how thankful I am for yesterday and all it entails. I was blessed enough yesterday to receive an Oovoo video call from a great guy friend, Tony, who is stationed in Iraq right now. I think I took advantage of seeing him so much before he left, and I miss him sooo much right now. It was sooo nice to see his smiling face and hear him too! It was MUCH better than a FB chat session like we normally have. I love him like a big brother, and I cannot wait till he is home and back partyin and hangin out with us all! Please keep him in your prayers, for things are quite difficult at the moment.

So....back to today. It is going to be one heck of a day, and tomorrow even more so. Today I am nannying of course, but I am also going to be making some packing lists, going to the bank, church, fine arts meeting, and tryin to do something special for the kiddos on their last day of summer with me. I can't believe its over already! This summer is almost over, yet it feels like it just began. Tomorrow I have rehearsal, packing, planning, errands, going to the gym, and my second interview for this new nanny position. Let us pray I get the job tomorrow! I need to start it as soon as possible.

Tomorrow night I also plan to begin my 30 day habit training to beginning a normal sleep pattern that works for me consistently. If I get this new job, it will be a 730-3, normal, everyday, and consistent job and I need to be prepared. I need to be prepared to be working on online classes and taking care of an 18month old little boy, along with going to other evening classes after work. I will have a crazy day nearly everyday of my life, as I may also continue keeping the kids I currently nanny for a few days a week after school, if it works out. I really hope that is possible.

I am trusting God will have His way in my life with Army Boy, moving out, working, and school. I am trusting Him with my entire life.

Have a blessed day!

Cute Stuff and the Doctor

Today has been a long one, and I definitely ready for bed!

Mom and I went to my dr appointment for the ultrasound, grabbed some yummy and much needed lunch at Panera since I couldn't eat for 12 hours before the ultrasound, and then went shopping. We got a lot of cute and practical things for the apartment. I am really excited!! :)

I still do not feel well, but hopefully these tests will answer some questions. I am going to cook some dinner, maybe go for a walk, and then head to bed. I am calling it an early night, mainly because I am hurting and exhausted, but also because I have to work in the morning.

I work tomorrow and wednesday, rehearsal and interview on thursday, then shopping and lunch with Nikki Friday. She is also gonna spend the night and were going to watch movies and have some much needed girl time!! :) I am very excited!! Saturday I will hopefully be babysitting and doing all my packing for Orland09!! :)

We leave Sunday and I am sooo ready but sooo not prepared packing wise lol I still need to go to the bank, finish laundry, and pack all my stuff.

Tomorrow in between taking care of the kids, I will be making all my many lists for everything I need to pack and do and all that mess.

Sooooo looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight. Army Boy would be so proud. Haha!!

:D

*Goodnight*

Pain

This pain in my stomach is no fun. I have missed yet another Sunday morning, and I also called out of work Friday night. So, for those that think I am simply skipping out on church, you are wrong!

I am going to find some medicine to take, and I do hope it helps, because like it or not, I have rehearsal at four and then the show at six, and well, I kinda can't miss it. I am praying God takes the pain away. I have an ultrasound in the morning and also an interview tomorrow. I also have my final interview for the new nanny position I want. I do hope it is in God's will and I get it, because I really need this job. It appears to be a blessing straight from God's hands. I cannot wait to meet the kids and hopefully bond with them in a way that will enable me to get this position.

I also need to pack for Orland09! We leave a week from today :) I do hope I am in less pain, and I am praying and believing God is going to fix these issues.

This week is going to be a busy one, and depending on how I feel, I may add hitting the gym three or four times to my list of madness. This will be a trying week, but I know I can make it! I can't believe that Nikki and I move into our new apartment in just 31 days!! :) So exciting, yet also a bit scary. I am trusting in God that everything is going to play out the way it is meant to. I am also praying God's will in the situation with Army Boy. I do believe this situation has made us closer, and I think it is all going to work out when he returns home to the States. It is so trying and stressful right now, but I am working on my faith to carry me through.

Off to take some medicine and try to get some things accomplished today. Wish me luck!!

Failure

You know those days where you just want to crawl in bed and not come out? Where you feel like everything you say gets you into yet another argument and you don't seem to have the right words to help anyone? Where you feel so overwhelmed by all you need to accomplish, and feel there just isnt enough time or money? Where you feel like true happiness may never come and you are sick of waiting? Where you just can't seem to find yourself? Where you feel like you aren't being faithful and trusting in God as you know you should be?

These are all great descriptions of how my life is going today. I just can't seem to come out on top! I am praying and trying to trust God, but somedays, some days it is just really difficult.

I should find out by the end of this coming week, or the beginning of the next one if I get my new job, and hopefully, if I get it, I will begin work the following week. I am very excited about this opportunity. If I get this job, it will be enough money to tithe, pay rent, put some in savings, and live day to day with some fun. I think it is going to work out, and I keep praying it does.

I am trying to follow God's lead and just go with the flow of things.

This next month will be insane, but I am going to try to find some fun in the mix of it all too!! :)

Have a blessed day!!

Cleaning and Packing

So today I have been way too lazy. It is 7pm and I feel I have accomplished almost nothing. I have a super super super super long list of things to accomplish in just a month, with me being gone six days of that month's time. I have a car full of things for the new apartment and a garage that is prolly half full of my crap. Tomorrow morning is the yard sale. I still need to post the signs. Ugh!! I am trying to plan out things and get them all accomplished, but it is very overwhelming. I have some fun projects to do, but I also have nights like tonight, in which I need to clean the whole house from top to bottom, and also finish preparing for the yard sale. Tonight will be another all-nighter-hopefully I will get some things accomplished in all this time!!

Things just keep getting better and better in the relationship corner, though I will admit I am still very very scared and hesitant. I am not so used to things going well, so I am having a bit of a hard time adjusting to this new found "goodness" in my life. I know God is working in His time and in His manner, and I am doing my best to begin to really trust in Him and His will. Things are going pretty well so far. We communicate better than ever-both army boy and I and God and I.

I am such a type-A, OCD, list maker, that all of this should be fun for me-the organizing, shopping, planning, cleaning, packing, list making, yada yada. It should be fun for me, but I am not finding it so fun. I need to cook dinner still, but don't feel I have the time really. I was hoping to hit the gym too today. Oh well. I haven't been able to get ahold of my cousin who is "supposed" to be coming over, so who knows what is up with that.

Okay, Okay. I need to stop this blogging and facebooking and get back to work! Lots to do tonight. Wish me luck!!

I'm Gonna Be Ready This Time

Today has been interesting. I applied for another nanny position and now I have a phone interview in ten minutes or so. I am excited. The kids go back to school soon and I need something else. I also have another blessing to count, some unknown source paid over 300 dollars that was left of my Orlando Competition trip in two weeks. I honestly didn't know where the money would come from on such short notice. God knew I didn't really have three hundred for that, four hundred for rent on the first, and spending money for the trip-well not and have any money left over. God is truly taking care of me. I have many blessings and though life is not perfect, I am trying to be content with how life is at the moment.

Things also just seem to be getting more and more interesting with Army Boy as well. With everything that has happened, he is amazed I am still talking to him and still so close to him. I will admit I am amazed too. This is not typical behavior for me. Like I keep saying and believing, this is a God thing. I just know it. He has a few hard decisions to make, and I keep praying that he will make the right choice for all of us. I just have to keep praying.

Things are looking up and God is taking care of me, He is taking care of us all.

Off to call for my phone interview. Wish me luck!!

I need a hair cut, and BAD!! I also need my eyebrows waxed and I need my nails and toenails redone! I can do the nails and toes myself, but not the other two lol So I think it is high time for some girly me time!!

I am still very sick and worn down, and doctors still do not know what is wrong with me. I will be going to yet another doctor's appointment next week. So, until they can tell me what is wrong, I will be trying to continue on with life. I only have so much energy each day, and I have to spend a great deal of my time in bed, but at least I am able to get up and do a few things each day. I think I am also going to be hitting the gym again as well, though I will be taking it very easy of course. I know I should be taking it easier than I am, but I absolutely cannot stand to be laying around in thi messy house!

Tonight, although I am out of energy, I am going to clean my room, do some laundry and make a few lists. Tomorrow I am going to tackle the bathroom, calling the college about my classes and make an appointment, calling the AI and canceling all of that mess, pick out pictures for framing, more laundry, sweep up the kitchen, vacuum a bit, make some calls about a few jobs, get yard sale items in order, mow the yard, and then have some "me time" and relax! It will be a very hectic day, but very needed! I am sitting in my messy room, looking around, and it is literally driving me crazy!! I cannot take this crazyness!! I work friday, monday and tuesday, then I will rest, but until all this is done, and I have my yard sale, I cannot rest! I am going nuts!!

Wish me luck that I will get all of this mess done and still have some amount of energy.

OOH!! I almost forgot my most imprtant update!! I now have my apartment!! :D I am sooo sooo ready!! I will be sharing it with two other girls, but I am sooo excited!! :) I found really cute stuff to decorate with today, and will find more over the next few weeks I am sure!!

Time to fold some laundry, make some lists, and do a bit of cleanin!! Night!!

Illness overbearing

Again, I was doing so great with blogging everyday, then I slacked off :( oh well. Time for some updates I suppose....

I will begin with my current predicament. I somehow have Mono and my chronic bronchitis is acting up again-luckily, only mildly at this point. I wasn't going to go to the dr, but thanks to Raymond, I did. It is a good thing too, cause with mono, I can't be going to the gym, lifting heavy things or anything like that. For now I am still babysitting, going to rehearsal and today's family gathering, but I am not working this coming week, nor am I really doing a whole lot of anything this coming week. I am going to gradually get my room clean and all my laundry done, but I am spacing that out over the entire week, so that I do not get too worn out or risk damaging my spleen due to heavy lifting. I really don't like having this mess cause I like to be up and going and that's not possible with this crap.

Also, since we are midway through the summer, I decided to relist my goals and see where I stand. I know just from looking at it that I need to do some work lol So here we go:

-blog daily**okay, okay, so I kinda have been doing this lol**
-connect with other bloggers
-begin a journal and journal daily
-read, criticize, and post about 30 books(fiction and non-fiction)**this number changed to 20**
-loose 20 pounds and get toned
-finally be at and maintain a healthy weight
-find a new, well-paying job
-travel to California**This trip was cancelled due to illness**
-travel to see my best friend since 2nd grade-Christina
-have a "Me Day" once every two weeks
-catch up with old friends and truly make a connection
-register for classes at Motlow
-make a "Moving Out" list
-move into new apartment
-hold yard sale
-try belly dancing classes
-sell books back to Hastings
-enter a photo contest
-try at least 6 new things
-have another photo shoot
-take more pictures
-write creatively, daily
-get new phone and contract in June
-make 10 new pieces of jewelry

--Items highlighted in blue are items I have completed--

So as we can see, I need to get motivated and begin to get more accomplished.
This will be fairly short today, due to me resting and trying to get ready for the long day ahead.
Have a good day all!!

Apple Juice and Pizza Rolls

So here it is 11:15pm and I am just now eatin my dinner of pizza rolls and apple juice! LOL I am so silly, I know. My eating and sleeping schedules are still very weird. I apparently made mister army boy by me not going to the doctor for some issues and for not sleeping well. He thinks I have made myself this way and that I can't take care of a family if I don't take care of myself. However, Danie and I talked about this and decided that it is easier for a woman to seperate her needs from that of a family, where as a man's logic is that they go hand-in-hand. And, as much I hate to admit it, the guys have something there. We do need to stop neglecting ourselves a women and realize that we must take care of ourselves in order to efficently raise our families and care for our friends, but you know, I believe many of us start this self-neglecting early in our adulthood and rarely grow out of it. I am making a goal to change that for myself, so that is going on my list for the summer. I am already making small changes to incorporate "me time" and have also made a dr appointment for Friday. I am still going to work these two days, but I will take it easy and rest mostly. Hopefully I will be up to hitting the gym Monday with Katie and hitting it extra hard on Thursday at kickboxing as well. I would like to go to kickboxing this Thursday with Katie like we plan, but I am not sure I will yet. It is going to be a long rest of the week.

Tonight I need to somehow sleep without oversleping for work. Tomorrow, I nanny and am taking the kids to church. Thursday, I also nanny and would like to take them on another fun day, but idk if that will happen or not. Friday I am going to the Dr, going to talk to people at Motlow, and then resting. Saturday I am helping my aunt and taking my cousins to the pool at 10am-that should be interesting but fun! I know I will have lots of pics! :) I am soo happy my cousins are back and close to us now!! :):) Saturday night I know I will want to go out, but I will honestly probably just watch a movie or read and relax. I am reserving that night for a light workout and some good ol me time and baking!! :) Sunday will be a long, but very happy day. I have choir rehearsal at 8am then 1st service at 830, then Sunday School at 10, then sing 2nd serive at 11, then headin to my Nana's house for a family gathering-all the aunts, uncles, greats, and cousins :) Nana is makin a yummy lunch and after I eat and visit and take lots of pics with all of them about 3ish, I am heading back to the church for one of my last final Fine Arts practices ever! I am both happy and sad about this being my last chance this year. :/ After a very long day, I believe I am staying for church at 6pm, then watchin Army Wives, eatin dinner, and havin some sunday night girl time with Danie :):) I love those sunday nights!! They are very good for us. We talk about a lot, and just have some plain ol fun! :)

I think I may go visit my Dad Tuesday-Thursday and also try to see my cousin and also my aunt and uncle! I am going to try and take advantage of my time off work next week and just relax, but see some family.

Things look so busy when I have them all written out like this! lol But they are all things that must happen for me to survive lol I need to call about a few job possibilities too! Things must always be forever adding themselves to my to-do list lol Oh well, that is life! C'est La Vie!!

Tony went back to Iraq today :( I am so sad I only got to see him for a few hours last friday, that was not NEAR enough!! :( I miss him so much. I miss all the fun times and the serious ones. I miss that big brother of mine-though he may not technically be related to me, he might as well be!

I am also working on being more positive, I know I need to be. It is so hard. I feel like I am trying, but can't reach the top for some air. Idk what is wrong with me, but I want it fixed, and I believe at this point, only God can fix it! I am trusting in Him, but struggling, but trying oh so hard!

Goodnight all! Time to clean and such before I lay down to watch a movie and relax until work in about six hours!

BOOK REVIEW: 13 Little Blue Envelopes

13 Little Blue Envelopes- Maureen Johnson

This was a truly fascinating book. In the beginning I must admit it is a bit boring, however the storyline quickly progresses and one feels herself being drawn to the characters and even rooting for them at times. I love this book for many reasons. It is extremely well-written and has a plot unlike any other I have ever read. A young girl who was highly attached to her struggling artist aunt is faced with a challenge when her aunt passes away. She receives specific instructions for a summer-long, life-changing journey around Europe in these 13 Little Blue Envelopes. She meets several interesting characters along the way, finds her true sense of self, and discovers a few family secrets as well. The story ends in a typical novelist way, meaning the reader is left to ponder and imagine what happens after the book ends.

I hurt all over

Today, or rather since it is almost 4am, yesterday was interesting. I cannot really say it was jam-packed with fun, cause it certainly wasn't . I did see my two best friends though and that made me smile :)) It wasn't a bad day, just a long one with not a whole lot of fun action ya know what I mean? It is close to 4am and I have not been to bed yet, and surprise surprise, I do not plan to either! lol I have to get some cleaning done, then do some ab workouts, go jogging/walking at sunrise, wash some clothes in the mean time, and then shower and get ready for church at 8am. Church does not actually start till 830, but we have choir rehearsal at 8am, so I have to be there for that! I am really liking being back in choir, though it is certainly an adjustment for me.
After my long morning, I have an even longer day. I need to clean my car out before church, then after church, I need to run to walmart to return some items, return some clothes at various other places, and head to the gym for about an hour and a half or so. After all of that I finally get a nap, before heading to pick up some dinner and head to Danie's for a late dinner and our typical Sunday night of dinner and Army Wives and girl talk! Gotta love it!! :) I love spending time with my Danie:)
I guess I should finish this up and get some cleaning done. Goodnight/Good morning!!

Exhausted Beyond Belief

I have had such an erratic sleep schedule the past week or so and it is finally creeping up on me and dragging me down. It is now close to midnight and I am babysitting and have been here since 5pm. I should get to leave in about a half hour. Thank goodness!! I really really do love babysitting and wish it was consistent enough to live off of, so I could just do this, nanny, and go to school in the fall and be able to support myself. Everything is looming over me these days and I just don't know what to do. I want to go to the Art Institute, but I am scared about the job prospects following my graduation. I am also about to be in a lot of debt. I wonder if I should just go to Motlow for free instead and maybe change my mind late? I really don't know. I need to get a response from God on this. I feel so conflicted.

And on top of feeling conflicted, I constantly feel gloomy and mad lately, and that is quite frankly pissing me off! I need to get happy again and be as normal as possible! I am sick and tired of being so sick and tired and pissed off all the time. I am sick of being so moody and crazy! I am now making yet another goal for the summer, and that is to make a conscious effort to be positive each day. Maybe I need to fake it till I make it. "Faking it, till I'm pseudo-making it." as the song says.

I am very impatient and skeptical, but I am trying to trust God for my answers.
Goodnight.

BOOK REVIEW: Look For Alaska

Looking for Alaska-John Green

This was an absolutely wonderful book! I loved reading every minute of it!
The book takes place in central Alabama at a small, private school. Some kids are rich, and as we find out, some are far from that. Green has written the book from the perspective of the main character, Miles, or "Pudge" as he is ironically nicknamed. Miles comes from a respectable background, however he almost had no friends at his old school, so this new life is something completely odd to him. At "the Creek" he makes several close friends and together they experience many trials and triumphs.
When reading this book, one cannot help but to notice the complexities behind all of the main characters, and cannot help but to feel for them all. Together, these four friends experience the troubles of common teens, along with a few more extremes. This novel brings to light some of the many problems and experiences that teenagers experience every day in this country, and really, around the world.
When something devastating happens, the friends learn they must stick together and put aside previous trials in order to survive.
This book is truly marvelously written and is funny, enlightening, and intriguing. I recommend everyone read this book for simply the message of life and friendship it holds, but also for the many other aspects that one can find when delving deeper into the story.